What is a cronut? A cronut is a combination of a croissant and a donut. The name sounds silly but seems appropriate. When I hear that two of my favourite pastries are making a super pastry baby, naturally I want to meet it. The original trademarked ‘cronut’ is made in New York at Dominique Ansel Bakery but it can be identified under the alias of dossant or zonut in Australia.
So I was told that the only place to get this alleged cronut in Melbourne is at Movida Bakery in South Yarra so off I went. We got to the bakery and there was a selection of sweet and savory pastries, fresh breads and some delicious deli sandwiches yumm! But then I remembered that we came here on a specific mission to get cronuts, and by cronuts I mean dossants (wink wink).
We walked into the cute little bakery and ordered two dossants. I literally got the last two dossants. For me the last two? I should be so lucky. I hold on to them with dear life and walk out of there with a great big smile from ear to ear. I could not contain my excitement. I had no doubt in my mind that these dossants were going to be the most scrumptious little pastries to date. Admittedly they didn’t look fabulous but that didn’t worry me, in my mind they would be deliciously ugly and that was fine.
I also bought a cocoa meringue that sort of resembled a meteor, which reminded me of that asteroid game where you shoot the asteroids and they break into particles and then you have to obliterate the particles into space dust in order to save the world (well maybe not the world but definitely to save you and your spaceship). I made my own re-make of the Atari game starring my Movida Meteoringue. Same game but yummier!
People in NY are going nuts for cronuts and are waiting in line for over two hours to buy the new pastry. People are buying cronuts in NY for $5 dollars, which is a reasonable price, but people are then selling them for more than six times that amount on what everyone keeps referring to as the black market. (I’ll take one heart, two kidneys and ooooh is that a cronut?) Not the real black market but word on the street is that cronuts are being sold at an inflated price to the people who cbf’d waiting in line. Seems you CAN buy patience.
So back to the dossant, I held it in my hand, paused, then took the first well-anticipated bite. I couldn’t believe my tastebuds, I sat there in disbelief and had to do a retake. I took another regretful bite and put it down. My excitement had plummeted. My first thought was ‘meh nothing special’, my second thought was ‘how could a croissant and a donut make such an ugly baby?’ and my first words were ‘do you want the rest of mine?’. I was suffering from severe devastation.
I would like to try the original ‘Cronut’ but the guy who invented them seems a little possessive. Ansel has trademarked the name ‘cronuts’ but also tweeted that other bakers are ‘copycats’ and questioned if they would be able to look at him in the eye. Why so serious? He didn’t invent the croissant or donut but was happy to copy those pastries to create his idea. Once I made a dessert bagel with a donut acting as the bagel, and fresh whipped cream replacing the creme cheese. Should I trademark the Dogel?
This whole cronut experience has taught me that sometimes you may wait in line for so long trying to get what everyone else wants but once you get there you realise that cronuts totally suck and the thing you wanted so badly wasn’t what you wanted at all. Find out what matters to you and follow that line instead.