Ever since I can remember, I have disliked vanilla ice cream because it was bland, uninteresting and didn’t have a strong appeal next to all of the other ice cream flavours. Why have vanilla when you can have honeycomb, rocky road, boysenberry, peppermint, ultra mega triple chocolate attack etc.? my favourite flavour of all time is rainbow ice cream from Wendy’s…or so I thought.
Just the other day I went to Wendy’s to buy the usual tub of rainbow ice cream when it dawned on me. What is this joyous flavour of rainbow I am so fond of? My curiosity led me astray and I chose to ask the lady at the shop front the question. The answer of which I would later on dread for years to come. What flavour is rainbow ice cream? I ask. As soon as the words left my mouth, I felt an instant feeling of regret. Before I could stop her she announces… Behold! the flavour you have spent so many years building a valuable relationship with is in fact plain jane vanilla ice cream with rainbow colouring.
I couldn’t believe it. Is this a dream? Is she joking I contemplated? then for the first time I looked closely at the ice cream description and there it was, in black and white, it said ‘rainbow COLOURED ice cream’. I watched my rose-coloured glasses fall on the floor and shatter into a million pieces. I was confronted by the painful reality of deceit. My most hated ice cream has been charading as my favorite ice cream all along.
In retrospect the colours of the rainbow tasted something like pink fairies, blue baby unicorns and yellow morning sunshine. Now when I try to imagine these magical wonders of the rainbow, my thoughts are tainted by vanilla bean meanies controlling the lands. Sort of like that care bare episode where everyone is the colour grey and miserable because someone stole the colour from their world. You know the one.
This particular rainbow ice cream was vanilla, but fear not! It has been scientifically proven that not all rainbow ice cream is vanilla, recent research shows that there is an exception to the rainbow paddlepop and some ice cream parlours sell bubblegum with rainbow colours…another misconception.
Oh the shame! In conclusion, what ice cream charades has taught me is to not be fooled by the pretty packaging of life and find out what your actually consuming.